Fantasy Island

While the whole world has been watching the Global Economic Meltdown and the Rise of the Obama-ites with fascination, other stories have been buried in page 38 (or where ever). What you've all missed out here in Asia is the amazing saga of Chen Shuibian. In previous episodes, Chen was elected president of Taiwan (otherwise known as the Republic of China -- a clear case of the tail wagging the dog if there ever was one) with only 39% of the vote in 2000. Then there was a near-assassination "attempt" during his re-election bid in 2004 (altho many think the attempt was self-inflicted). These are old stories, as are the numerous flamboyant maneuvers of the Chen reign. By late 2006, corruption charges were were so thick in the atmosphere around Chen that Taiwanese TV was filled on a daily basis with film & live TV of a Peoples' Revolution -- masses of citizens in the streets of Taipei and other cities, demanding Chen's recall. In the end, the votes weren't there and Chen finished his term, albeit with much diminished power and reputation. He left office in the Spring of 2008, replaced by Ma Yingjeou of the Guomindang (Nationalist) Party. Since then, things have gotten really bizarre.

By Spring of 2006, Chen's approval ratings were somewhere between 8% and 20%, making even George W. Bush look wildly popular. His son-in-law, Chao Chienming (趙建銘) was arrested for insider trading & embezzlement. In November 2006, Chen's wife Wu Shuchen was indicted along with three others on corruption charges; Chen himself was immune from indictments while serving as president. Soon after leaving office last year, Chen was accused of money laundering. In a show of great chivalry, he quickly blamed his wheel-chair bound wife. Whatta Guy! His daughter-in-law was, allegedly (and likely), the recipient of US $31 million into a Swiss bank account, altho the money just round-tripped to another account in the Cayman Islands. Numerous other Chen-era officials have been arrested for various corruption issues. Frankly, I've lost count of them all. Throughout, Chen has alternated statements blaming others for all the illicit money movements (in effect, admitting that they took place, but at the same time blaming others for the wrong-doing) and then, simultaneously, claiming that he was being politically persecuted by his successor, Ma Yingjeou. He was finally arrested on November 2008 and again blamed Ma for his troubles. Chen then announced a hunger strike and was subsequently hospitalized but, like the Tiananmen hunger strikers of 1989, he was actually sneaking food when no one was looking. By early December 2008, he was released pending trial, but was re-incarcerated on December 30th after the prosecutors appealed his release. He remains in jail as the judicial proceedings continue.

While he has now embarked on another (alleged) hunger strike, the absurdities mount. Just this week, he renewed his accusations that all his troubles were the result of Ma Yingjeou's persecutions against him and furthermore that Ma (who is known for his rather modest lifestyle, strong marriage & high integrity) is not only gay but has had a homosexual relationship with an unnamed guy of African descent. Oh, horrors! You've just got to wonder whether if Chen is trying to push Ma & Obama into a closer relationship! I'm sure both Ma & Obama are completely uninterested in whatever Chen may be fantasizing.

If you haven't been watching this whole thing, you should! Its wildly entertaining. And better than any soap opera I've ever heard of. There's also lots of opportunities for spin-off shows, with Chen's son & ex-model daughter-in-law happily running a branch of the family money laundering business (allegedly, allegedly, of course). I've been unable to figure out how much the Chen Family has stolen from the people of Taiwan (or otherwise illicitly diverted for personal use) or took as bribes (or campaign contributions into their personal accounts) and so on and so on. It seems to have been well over a billion NT$ (US$28.8 million), and that's not counting the US$31 million that passed thru Switzerland. I know, I know! By Wall Street & Bernie Madoff standards, this is really Chump Change. But when it comes sociopathy & high drama, this has much more going for it.

And it ain't over yet!

Popcorn, anybody?